Hello and welcome to this new blog dedicated to everything that comes to my mind!
I love talking about life, love, anything and everything, and that is precisely the purpose of this blog. I let my thoughts flow and I share them with you as they come... Before dedicating my life to art, I was a personal and fitness coach. And I have always loved writing. Hence my habit of documenting my thoughts…
So here is the first article of this new series. If you wish to be informed about upcoming publications, please feel free to subscribe to my newsletter (registration is done on the homepage of the site).
And what better way for a first article than to talk about starting again, from scratch, or not.
Should we erase everything or rebuild on what we already have? The answer is not always easy...
I don't know how many times I have been tempted to erase everything and start again, elsewhere, differently, where the grass is surely greener. Because elsewhere, everything seems easier, especially when, on social media, everyone seems to be "succeeding", financially secure, sure of themselves, etc... While the reality is often quite different.
Changing my life, I have done it, sometimes. In a more or less brutal way when life has naturally pushed me to do so, or when, exhausted, I have decided that it was the only solution.
But sometimes, not everything is worth throwing away.
Changing perspective and changing only what needs to be changed is sometimes the right thing to do.
So how can I know if my decisions are right? If the path I am taking is finally the right one? If I am not making a mistake that takes me away from what/where I should be?
Truth is, I don't know. But I am confident.
I trust life.
Simply because very often it has shown me that I should have trust.
As I wrote a little earlier, life has sometimes pushed me to change. Pushed me to change jobs, locations, relationships... When I let it guide me, everything is fine, even if it’s scary at first. When I panic and try to control it, to speed up the natural pace of things or take a different direction, it catches me by the hand, showing me that running is pointless, that some things only happen when the time is right... Life is also a matter of timing.
Indeed, for a change to happen, one must be ready. And even though I often thought I was, I was not. I told myself I was ready to move mountains while I barely had the strength to carry myself... And I know I am not the only one.
At every crossroads in life, we are led to make decisions.
Continue?
Erase everything and start again?
Start exactly the same thing again?
Start something completely different?
Is there an answer to these questions?
The answer lies within each of us. Each answer is different, individual and linked to so many parameters that it would be unwise to give an answer that would suit everyone.
And the only way to find this answer is to try.
Perhaps by playing the card of caution first, by not throwing everything away on a whim, by modifying the existing long enough to see if a change occurs.
Every time we try something new, we learn. About ourselves, but also new skills. Trying is already evolving. No matter the outcome.
Try and feel.
Not asking someone else's opinion (or worse, ChatGPT) and finding YOUR answer. But once again, it takes time to know if it is fear that is answering or if it is simply our instinct telling us that we are going the wrong way.
I have learned a lot by trying things. When I do not know exactly what I want or expect from life, what to do, or where to go, I try things. And whatever happens, I gain from it. Either, by chance, I have directly made the right decision, and in that case BINGO, I have found a piece of my puzzle and I move forward, or I realise that the situation does not suit me and in that case, I discover what I do not want from life.
And knowing what we do not want is just as essential, if not more so, than knowing what we want.
Starting completely from scratch?
Sometimes, it is the only solution. When the past is too heavy, when who we were is different from who we are now, or when we have never had the chance to simply be ourselves.... Starting from scratch can be the best solution. Wiping the slate clean, leaving the past behind (for real), even if it's terrifying, and going where our heart guides us.
I’m going to be very honest with you, most of my major life changes have been brought about by life itself. I made some decisions myself, like leaving my old job and becoming an artist, but when I resisted change, it came to get me forcibly (violently).
"Hi, I'm Change, I'm taking you with me, whether you like it or not!"
Honestly, it was difficult, but in hindsight, I am really happy that change knocked on my door, no matter the difficulties I had to overcome afterwards.
The real question
I believe the only question to ask when we want a change is: WHY?
Why do I want this change?
- What is it about my current life that pushes me to want this change?
- Is the thing I want to change really what's wrong in my life, or am I just shifting my real problem onto another issue? Onto another person?
- Am I able to put into words what is really wrong and to visualise a more ideal situation as well as the steps to achieve it?
- What can I stop doing to never again sabotage my own life?
- And finally THE question: what can I do TODAY, with the means I ALREADY have, to start changing my life?
If there is one thing that life has taught me, it is that very often we have the means to change things with what we already have, with the people we already know, by staying where we are. Taking the first step in the direction of our ideal life, so that new opportunities present themselves to us… Not necessarily those that we want, but probably those that we need the most…
Finally, I believe it is simply essential to do the things that make us happy, to escape from heavy situations as much as we can, to find ways to recharge our batteries.
Personally, art helps me immensely, whether it is painting, writing or even music (I love playing the piano and singing, even if my skills are not the most dazzling, it does me a lot of good). That’s why this blog exists, why my poetry exists, why I even have a YouTube channel where I had started to publish covers (but I put it on hold because filming had become difficult for me in the apartment I live in, but I will post on this channel again one day).
Where to start?
If you don’t know where to start, just write. Create a journal in which you will write your thoughts as they come. Do not write it to be read, write for yourself. It is essential to remain 100% honest and authentic. I myself have a journal in which I often write.
Open your journal and simply answer the question: WHY ? Why do I do what I do? Why do I want to do this or that? And let your instinct answer.
Here is my answer :
Why did I decide to write this blog ?
Because I know I need change and I tell myself that talking about it will help me, and might help you too. Our lives are different, but the way we function is the same.
I love my art, I love writing, I love creating in general, but I am a single mum and being an artist is not simple financially. I would like not to have to give up everything I have set up over the past several years now. Simply because creating makes me happy, because this artist's life also allows me to be with my son.
Will I find the key ? We'll see…
Thank you so much for reading me,
Joanna 🦋
If you enjoyed your reading, feel free to leave me a comment, to share my work and, if you can, to support it financially. Every support helps to keep my art and my writings alive a little more...